Size Doesn't Matter
by donki-shouben
Summary: Story like a TV episode! Kim shrinks! Lots of action & humor! Drakken, Shego, cheerleading, science fiction, exoskeleton, wrestling, sabre tooth tiger, flea circus, black hole, 'giant ' bugs, superheroics, midget Kim, mini Kim & micro Kim, and more!
1. Chapter 1

Size Doesn't Matter

Chapter 1

A Kim Possible Teleplay

by Shawn Q. Evans

Summary - Kim gets really small. So how will she stop Drakken's latest scheme? And what about cheerleading? An original shrink story (cliché-free) where everyone learns - size doesn't matter! First in a series of 'real KP' stories - original stories written in the style of the TV show. It's like getting new episodes of your favorite show! Cool!

Story copyright Shawn Q. Evans, 2005

Kim Possible and related characters copyright Walt Disney Co.

Prof. Quizby copyright Shawn Q. Evans

Opening - Middleton High School. Sign reads "Make No Small Plans

Big Game With Upperton Tomorrow"

Kim and Ron in the school hallway.

Ron: So, Kim, any plans for today?

Kim: The usual - school, cheerleading, bagging Drakken. How about you, Ron?

Ron: Oh, mine are much more modest. School survival, Bueno Nacho, miscellaneous this and that. It's good to have plans, isn't it? Even small ones.

Kim: Uh huh. I guess?

Ron: Oh, uh, could you hand me that book on the locker?

Kim: Sure.

Ron, standing behind Kim, pulls a length of something, not sure what, out of his pocket and stretches it horizontally from hand to hand. Menacing music plays, as it appears Ron could be about to garrote Kim. Rufus pops out of Ron's pocket and stares.

Rufus: Uh?

Ron: How high do you think that locker is? About 6 feet?

Kim stretches to the top of the locker on her tippy toes. Ron is right behind her and stretches the length (it's measuring tape) vertically. He doesn't have the entire length extended yet. Rufus, sitting on Ron's pocket, places his thumb in front of his face and squints his eye (he's doing a rough measurement of Kim).

Kim: I suppose.

Ron quickly extends the entire length of tape behind Kim to measure her height. Rufus, on the floor, extends a horizontal measuring tape behind Kim to measure her width. Very quickly, then, Ron releases the tape, causing it to roll back into the tape measure, which he hurriedly places in his pocket, followed by Rufus, milliseconds before Kim turns around and gives Ron the book.

Kim: Here you go. What the?

Ron: Thanks, KP! Always a help!

Kim: I'm sure. Hmmm?

Ron: What?

Kim: Nothing. Well, got to go! See ya!

Kim walks away from Ron.

Ron: Wait up, Kim. I'll walk with you.

Ron and Kim walk together.

Kim: You're being weird today. Well, weirder than usual!

Ron: I am not! Oops! My shoelaces are undone! Hold on a sec!

Ron bends down and reaches for his shoes. He's got a small device secreted in one hand.

Ron: Hey, is that Bonnie with Josh?

Kim: Where?

As Kim looks away, Ron drops the device on the floor in front of Kim.

Kim: They're not there!

Ron: Oh. Guess I was mistaken.

Kim: What's going on, Ron?

Ron: What? There's nothing going on, Kim!

Kim: Oh, really? You're not even wearing shoelaces today, Ron. They're velcro!

Ron: Well those...those can come undone, too. I mean, you know...

Just then the Kimmunicator beeps.

Kim: We'll talk later. What's the sitch, Wade?

Wade: Drakken and Shego have broken into an experimental cargo facility.

Kim: We're on it! Let's go, Ron!

Kim turns and runs off.

Ron: Wooo! Saved by the beep. Coming, Kim!

Ron runs off, and leaves his device behind.

Close-up on device - it's a small digital scale.

Opening Theme.

Scene 1 - An experimental cargo storage facility. Drakken is rummaging through the warehoused items while Shego, arms folded, taps her foot annoyingly.

Shego: Well, Dr. D? Did you find it yet?

Drakken: Patience, Shego! You know, for a warehouse, they are quite a mess! I blame that 'just-in-time' supply management theory! Oh! What have we here?

Shego: You got it?

Drakken: No, but look! Collapsible space savers!

Drakken holds up horizontal storage containers that, when he presses a button, collapse into a vertical pile.

Drakken: If I had patented this years ago, I'd have made a small fortune!

Shego: Oh, here we go again! Mr 'I invented everything'! What was it at that fast food place? The vittleveyor?

Drakken: I'll have you know, Shego, that as a teen employed by the quick meal industry, I did develop a conveyor belt food delivery system for the drive-thru. So there! Ah! Success at last!

Drakken finds a small circular (ball-like) device.

Kim and Ron appear, standing at the door, blocking Drakken & Shego's exit

Kim: And that'll be the last success you have!

Ron: Good quick quip, KP!

Kim: Thanks. It was an area I needed to work on!

Ron: It's the little things that make it all worthwhile, isn't it?

Drakken: Are you waiting for a formal invite to join their discussion club, Shego? Get her!

Shego attacks Kim. They fight. Kim jumps around Shego, etc.

Ron confronts Drakken.

Ron: _You _invented the vittleveyor? I'm impressed. Not going to stop me from putting the smackdown on you, though.

Ron's fist hits his palm.

Drakken: Bah! You'll have to catch me first, whatever your name is!

Drakken runs off into the warehouse, tossing items off shelves to delay Ron.

Ron: Hey!

Drakken disappears in the warehouse.

Meanwhile, Kim's jumping on forklifts and shelves to stay out of reach of Shego's glowing hands. Shego brings down some warehouse shelves, but Kim jumps out of the way.

Ron pursues an unseen Drakken.

Ron: There's no point in hiding, Drakken! There's no way out. No 'experimental cargo' will save you!

Drakken: First of all, buffoon, it's an experimental _cargo-handling _facility! Second of all...

There's a CLANK CLANK CLANK noise that gets louder and louder.

Ron: And that's another thing! You know my name! It's..

Drakken appears. He's in an exoskeleton/cargo lifter (like the one from _Aliens_).

Ron: ..Ulp!

Drakken: Well, _Ulp, _prepare to be destroyed!

Ron: Uh, Kim, a little help here!

Ron avoids the huge metal arms and legs of Drakken's exoskeleton.

Kim sees that Ron's in trouble.

Kim: Ron!

Shego lashes out at the warehouse shelf Kim is perched upon, sending it crashing down. At the same time, Kim executes a perfect leap straight over Shego's head. Shego, surprised, looks behind her at Kim.

Shego: Wha?

Then the shelf falls on Shego. Shego turns her head back and looks right at the shelf and its items as they fall on top of her.

Shego: Uh oh.

Kim runs toward Ron and Drakken.

Kim jumps on Drakken's exoskeleton, distracting him from Ron, but she can't get close enough to his head to take him out. She barely manages to avoid his huge mechanical arms with its clutching claws as she jumps all over him.

Ron: Thanks, KP! I'll find something to help!

Ron runs off into the warehouse, frantically searching for anything to use as a weapon. He picks up and discards items.

Ron: No, no, what's this? _Porta-plunger_? 'An entire bathroom in a plunger'. Eww! No! Ah! Here we go!

Kim continues to jump around the exoskeleton as Drakken continues to miss her, but he does hit an occasional wall, destroying it.

Drakken: Stand still, you hyperkinetic pixie! I blame the food industry, with it's ever-increasing number of sugars! And the ever-increasing number of 'cuts' on TV shows which causes short attention spans! And...

Ron: It's okay, Kim! I got him!

Kim: You're sure?

Ron: Yep! Now, what were you saying, Drakken?

Drakken: What?

Shego confronts Kim.

Shego: Remember me, Kimmie?

Kim: How could I forget? You're like a zit that keeps on growing back!

Shego: Grrrr!

Shego and Kim fight again.

Drakken confronts Ron, who stands in the middle of a platform. The end of the platform has a thin stick rising from it with a few control buttons on top the stick. Drakken is close to Ron, and towers over him.

Drakken: You expect to stop me with that?

Ron: Um-hmm.

Drakken raises his huge exoskeleton arms for the deadly blow.

Drakken: Ha! You'll never reach those controls in time! Get ready to meet your doom, sidefool!

Ron: Go, Rufus!

Rufus jumps on the button on top of the stick, and then the platform rises very fast, knocking the exoskeleton's arms off.

Ron is then level (face to face) with a defenseless Drakken.

Drakken: Huh? Wha hoppen?

Ron: Superfast Verti-Lift.

Ron winds up.

Ron: And the name is Stoppable...

Drakken: Mommy.

Ron pastes Drakken a good one, sending him flying from the exoskeleton.

Ron: ...Ron Stoppable!

Drakken's find, the small circular device, falls out of Drakken's pocket and rolls towards Kim and Shego, who are fighting. Kim prepares to make another leap over Shego's head, but Shego is prepared.

Shego: Oh no you don't!

Shego raises her hands (and spreads her legs), but instead of launching herself over Shego, Kim hooks her feet on the edge of the shelf, dives down in front of Shego, then pulls her legs down and backward flips through Shego's legs.

Kim: Who needs Steeltoe...

Shego: What the..?

Kim reaches for Shego's ankles. Shego is very surprised as she looks where Kim was supposed to be (up) and where she went (in front of Shego).

Kim: ...When you have the titanium anklegrab?

Kim pulls Shego's ankles. Shego falls forward and hits the floor, hard.

Ron runs up to Kim and inadvertently kicks the small, round device, which stops in front of Kim.

Ron: Way to go, KP! Love the wrestling move! And the snappy fighting patter is even snappier!

Kim: Thanks! I've been practicing!

Small, round device makes a CLICK noise.

Ron: Was that supposed to do that?

Kim: Oh, that so not sounds good! I better...

Device shines a bright light that totally encompasses Kim.

Sound effect: SHHHZZZZTT

Sound effect: BLOOOORT

Ron: Kim!

Shego helps Drakken to his feet.

Shego: Time to put this place in the rearview mirror!

Drakken: Huh?

Ron looks at Kim with concern.

Ron: Kim? Are you OK?

Kim's on the floor.

Kim: I feel OK.

Shego leads Drakken away.

Drakken: No! Not without...

Ron: Kim? Did you lose weight?

Drakken: (Voiceover):...my shrink ray!

Ron helps Kim stand up. She's smaller than before and barely reaches Ron's shoulder.

Kim: Oh no! I've shrunk!

Scene 2 - Drakken and Shego lost in the cargo facility. They're in front of many doors.

Shego: What's with all of these doors?

Drakken: Just pick one! It's not as if a tiger is behind one!

Shego: You're the boss! Why, I don't know!

Shego opens a door. They enter an area that looks like the forest at night, with trees, chirping crickets and a star-filled sky.

Shego: What the..? Where are we?

Drakken: Shego! Do you know what this means?

Shego: We're lost?

They go back through the door.

Drakken: Grab the doorknob, Shego. It contains all the necessary circuitry.

Shego: O-kay! I hope you know what you're doing!

Drakken: Oh..You will, Shego. You will!

Shego: I meant you! That you know what you're doing!

Scene 3 - Kim and Ron talk to Wade.

Kim: Wade, you can reverse this shrinkray thingie, right?

Wade: It's not that easy, Kim. It was never perfected. And it's not really a shrink ray. It's more of a compression ray.

Ron: Huh?

Wade: It doesn't shrink matter, it compresses it. That's why you weigh the same as before.

Ron: She does?

Kim: So I've lost size, but not weight?

Wade: Correct.

Ron: Something tells me this isn't going to be a very popular diet device.

Kim: Ron!

Wade: It wasn't meant for weight loss, Ron. They wanted to transport more cargo in a small space, but there were..complications since everything weighed so much.

Cut to workers picking up small packages and then keeling over with bad backs.

Worker 1: Aghh!

Worker 2: Oh! My back!

Kim: Tell me some good news, Wade!

Wade: Got it right here! The other problem they had was that the effect was only temporary. So you'll keep on shrinking for the next couple days until you reach maximum compression, and then 'bang' shoot back up. That's what happened to their test items, anyway. Just make sure you're not in an enclosed area when that happens.

Kim: Bang?

Wade: Figure of speech. It wasn't bang as in blow up. Well, the first few items did, but they fixed that problem. From what I can tell, anyway.

Kim: And we have the game tomorrow with Upperton! I'm doomed!

Wade: Don't worry, Kim! if your electrons get too…excitable, we can always bathe you in a cold laser.

Kim: Why does that so not sound like fun?

Ron: You weigh the same. Do you know what this means? Hmm, they probably have truck scales here...

Ron imagines Kim and a truck standing on a truck scale, then Kim gets off the scale and Ron calculates her weight.

Ron: Carry the 2, and...

Kim: Ron, what are you babbling about?

Ron: Nothing!

Kim: We need to focus on...

Sound effect: BLOOORTT

Kim shrinks even more. Now she only reaches Ron's chest.

Ron: Ew! Shrinkfart!

Kim: There's no such thing as a 'shrinkfart', Ron!

Wade: Actually, Kim, since a fart is the expulsion of gas from the body, 'shrinkfart' would be the correct term since the shrinking forces air out.

Kim: I am so majorly doomed!

Scene 4 - Middleton High School. Sign reads "Small Schools Are Better Schools

Tomorrow - Let The Big (Mad) Dog Eat"

Kim and Ron in the school hallway. Kim reaches Ron's navel, or belt.

Ron: Okay, Kim, I'll pick you up after cheerleading practice, OK? Well, actually not _pick_ you up, because of the whole weight thing, but, you know.

Kim: Relax, Ron, I know what you mean! I think.

Bonnie enters.

Bonnie: Hey, K! See you at cheerleading practice later. That is, if you're feeling UP to it! Ha Ha Haaa! Hope you're not coming DOWN with something! Hee Heee!

Kim: Oh, I'll be there, Bonnie! And like we haven't heard those jokes before!

Ron: Yeah! Wait, we haven't heard those jokes before, have we?

Kim: And another thing - I may be only half the girl I was before, but I'm still more than enough cheerleader for you!

Ron: You tell 'er, KP! Hmm, ya know, you're actually more than half, what with weighing the same as before and all. How much is that, anyway? 105? 110?

Kim: Ron, what's with this fixation on my weight?

Ron: Fixation? Me? I'm just making converse, Kimela! Dial down the drama, huh?

Kim: Sorry, Ron! This whole thing has got me really wound up!

Ron: Don't you mean wound _down_? Sorry.

Kim: Sigh. See you later, Ron.

Ron: Take care.

Montage of midget Kim at school.

Kim walking in crowded hallway, almost getting run over by people who don't see her.

Male classmate: Oops! Sorry, little lady! Didn't see you there!

Kim jumps onto the water fountain to take a drink.

Brick enters.

Brick: Need a lift, Kim?

Kim: No, it's OK, Brick, I got it!

Brick grasps Kim and holds her up to the water fountain.

Brick: Ooff! You're a handful, aintcha! Like one of my weights!

Crowd of schoolkids laughs.

Kim: Ohhh! Nothing could be more embarrassing than this!

Kim in class. Sitting on 4 or 5 phone books.

Barkin: Are those enough phone books, Possible? We have more in the teacher's lounge if you need 'em?

Classmates giggle.

Kim: No, sir, I'm fine! Sighhhh. I had to ask!

Barkin: Okay! So the next chapter...

Time passes (clock moves).

Barkin:...And finally...

Kim's body begins to shake/rumble.

Kim: Oh no! Not here!

Barkin: ...And in conclusion...

Kim: Come on! End it!

Barkin: What was that, Possible?

Kim: Nothing! I just..have to go ..now!

Barkin: You know the policy on bathroom breaks! You'll just have to hold it. Now then, where was I...

Kim: No! I have to..!

Sound effect: BLOOOORRTTT

Class is stunned into silence. Kim shrinks to crotch level.

Classmate: Eewww! Shrinkfart!

Class laughs.

Kim buries her head in her hands.

Kim: Doomed! I am _so_ doomed!

The Vittleveyor is a registered trade mark of E.F. Bavis and Associates, all rights reserved


	2. Chapter 2

Size Doesn't Matter

Chapter 2

A Kim Possible Teleplay

by Shawn Q. Evans

Summary - Kim gets really small. So how will she stop Drakken's latest scheme? And what about cheerleading? An original shrink story (cliché-free) where everyone learns - size doesn't matter! First in a series of 'real KP' stories - original stories written in the style of the TV show. It's like getting new episodes of your favorite show! Cool!

Story copyright Shawn Q. Evans, 2005

Kim Possible and related characters copyright Walt Disney Co.

Prof. Quizby copyright Shawn Q. Evans

Scene 5 - Drakken's lab. Drakken is experimenting with the doorknob. Drakken, wearing goggles, screws the doorknob onto a door.

Drakken: There, Shego! That should do it! Drakken's Dimensional Doorway should now be operational!

Shego: Drakken's Dimen-what? Why not just call it 3D?

Drakken: It's not 3D, it's...

Shego: Or Triple D?

Drakken: Triple D? Please! It's not some hip-hap artist!

Shego: Hop.

Drakken: What!

Shego: You said hip hap. It's hip hop!

Drakken: It's..oh, for the..mmph! Shego! Now where was I? Oh, yes! Drakken's Dimensional Doorway! That'll look nice on all my writeups!

Shego: It's a mouthful! Why not just call it the Door?

Drakken: Yes, fine! The Door!

Shego: What's it do?

Drakken: It allows one to travel between dimensions.

Shego: Then why not call it the Dimension Door?

Drakken: But that's what I was calling it, until you...

Shego: Don't blame this on me! It's your silly door! Call it whatever you want!

Drakken: Fine! I will! And it's not silly! With this door, we'll be able to travel thru other dimensions and come out anywhere on Earth!

Shego: Seriously? Anywhere? As in...Fort Knox anywhere?

Drakken: Anywhere! The problem with the door, that my genius fixed, was that, due to the constant shifting of the various dimensions that make up our multiversal reality...

Shego: Multi-wha?

Drakken: Bear with me, Shego! Anyway, one couldn't control where one ended up. But I've fixed that. If you go through that door right now, you will be in Middleton's Central Park!

Shego: Seriously?

Drakken: Seriously.

Shego: Okayyy, Central Park, here I come! Next stop - Fort Knox! Hee hee hee!

Drakken: Mwah ha ha!

Shego walks through door.

Drakken checks his equipment.

Drakken: Yes, Central Park of..15,000 years ago? That's not right.

Shego screams.

Shego: Ahh! Sabre Tooth Tiger!

Shego runs out the door, uniform trailing tatters, just ahead of a claw.

Sabre Tooth Tiger: Rarrr!

Shego: Drakken, you idiot! You sent me to a sabre tooth tiger!

Drakken: Hee. Calm yourself, Shego. The door is still experiencing a..minor flux. That's all. I simply need to find an anchor and then...

Shego: Fort Knox?

Drakken: Yes. Fort Knox. Acres of gold bars!

Shego: It's ingots!

Drakken: What? I don't got...

Shego: Ingot! Gold ingots! Not bars!

Drakken: Yes. Those too. And then the Doctor will be in...everywhere! Mwah ha ha ha ha!

Shego: Hee hee hee hee hee!

Shego leans in towards Drakken and flashes her claws.

Shego: Better be.

Drakken: Eeep!

Scene 6 - Cheerleading practice. Midget Kim (reaches other cheerleaders' thighs), Bonnie and other cheerleaders in uniform. Ron in costume as the Mad Dog mascot.

Kim: Okay, everybody! Let's do the pyramid!

Cheerleaders tumble, jump and form the pyramid. Kim sails to the top. She lands, spreads her short, stubby legs, wobbles and falls.

Kim: Whoa-whoaaa!

Kim crashes to the floor.

Kim: Ow!

Ron rushes over.

Ron: Are you okay, Kim?

Kim: Only my pride's hurt. It's my balance, my center of gravity! It's totally off!

Bonnie: Maybe you should sit this one out, Kim, until, you know, you recover your form?

Cheerleaders giggle.

Kim: Hilarious as always, Bonnie! But I can do this! It's like getting your sea legs, that's all!

Bonnie: Yeah, if you could SEE your legs!

Kimmunicator beeps.

Kim: Give me a good sitch, Wade!

Wade: Not the good news you were expecting probably, Kim! Drakken stole a dimensional transport device.

Kim: Sounds rad AND bad!

Wade: But I've tracked him to his lair!

Kim: Good going, Wade! Come on, Ron!

Scene 7 - Drakken's lab. Drakken with 2 Dimension Doors.

Drakken: There! I've managed to anchor the Dimension Door to one point by cloning the doorknob, so...

Shego: Did you just say 'clone'?

Drakken: It's not that type of clone! I duplicated the doorknob, so we can...

Kim & Ron arrive. Kim reaches Ron's knee.

Kim: Let the door hit you on the way out twice as fast?

Ron: Another zinger! Good one!

Kim: Yep, I still got it!

Drakken: What! A-a midget Kim Possible and whatsisname?

Shego: I get to fight mini me? Oh, this ought to be fun!

Shego attacks Kim.

Ron: You going to be okay, Kim?

Kim: Go. I can handle her!

Ron attacks Drakken.

Ron: You know how this ends! Why don't we skip the preliminaries and go straight to the finale? Give it up!

Drakken: Oh, I don't know. I'm thinking of a double bill!

Drakken puts his fist through one Door and it comes out the other Door next to Ron, and punches Ron.

Ron: Hey!

Drakken puts one arm and one leg through his Door. It comes out the Door near Ron and entangles him. Ron struggles with Drakken's limbs.

Kim gains some height by using her hair dryer grapple gun. She sails through the air towards Shego, then jumps and tries to fly between Shego's legs.

Shego: Not this time!

Shego drops to her knees and tackles Kim. They wrestle on the floor. Shego tries to pin Kim, but Kim's slippery and gets on Shego's back.

Ron stops struggling and stares at Kim & Shego.

Ron: Huh.

Drakken: What are you doing? Why did you stop fighting?

Drakken turns his head to see what Ron's looking at.

Shego and midget Kim are wrestling on the floor, rolling around, etc.

Drakken: Hmmm. It IS quite a spectacle, isn't it?

Drakken: Now back to our fight!

Ron & Drakken fight. They roll around. Ron puts his fist, then his leg, through the Door to hit Drakken. Arms and legs of the two alternate going through the Doors as they fight.

Ron and Drakken, though separated by the Doors, have their limbs entangled. Stalemate.

Drakken: Ha! I have you now!

Rufus: Mm-mmm

Rufus itches Drakken's nose with a feather.

Drakken: Ah! You hairless beast! I can't..scratch..my nose!

Ron: Way to go, Rufus!

Kim and Shego untangle. Shego throws Kim off of her.

Shego: Off!

Kim tries to jump onto Shego. She somersaults through the air and lands on Shego, but Kim can't get her short legs around Shego. Shego twirls and throws Kim off her, right into Ron, sending them both sprawling through the Dimension Door.

Kim and Ron are out of action for a moment. Drakken uses the time to escape with Shego and one of the Doorknobs.

Drakken: This isn't over! Come, Shego! We'll perfect our transport door yet! I know just the thing that'll work!

Scene 8 - Middleton High School. Sign reads "Sm l ch ols ar B tte S h ols

Go Mad Dogs!"

Letters are missing on the first line.

Kim, Ron and Monique in school cafeteria. Monique and Ron are sitting at a table with their food. Kim is only as tall as the typical person's shin bone (below the knee). Kim is sitting on the table with her smaller portion of food.

Monique: New attitude to go with the new look, Kim? I've never seen you sit ON the table before!

Kim: It's not as if they make chairs my size. Well, any chairs I would actually sit in!

Ron: Hey, don't bust on Kim! She can't help it!

Monique: I know. I'm just giving her a hard time. It builds character.

Ron: 'Builds'? Is that a short joke, Monique? For shame!

Monique: What? I wouldn't...

Kim: Guys, cut it out! It's okay. And being short isn't all bad. For example, I only got kiddie portions of that caf' food they serve.

Ron: That's my Kim! Always looking on the positive side of life!

Monique: 'Postive'? Is _that _a 'short' crack?

Ron: What? No? I mean, it's better than dwelling on the negative, I mean...never mind.

Monique: Uh huh. Thought so.

Kim: You two!

Kimmunicator beeps

Kim: Sitch me, Wade!

Wade: Got a hit on your site. A physicist, Prof. Quizby. His lab's been burglarized.

Kim: That's terrible, Wade, but I thought we were focusing on Drakken? He's still got that door device!

Wade: I think it's related. You'll see. Oh, and Kim? You'll love this - Prof. Quizby's an expert on miniaturization.

Kim: Great. More short jokes!

Scene 9 - Dr. Quizby's lab. Kim, in mission clothes, is slightly smaller (reaches midway between Ron's knee and ankle). They look around the burglarized lab. It's in disarray. Papers and books are strewn about. Microscopes lay on their side. File cabinets are open. There are green glowing marks on the walls.

Kim: Yep, I'd definitely say Shego was here! But what would Drakken want with a physics lab?

Kim: Professor? Prof Quizby? It's Kim Possible!

Prof. Quizby's voice (behind a desk): Kim Possible? Thank heavens you're here! They took it!

Kim and Ron look at each other, puzzled, because they don't see the professor.

Kim: Professor? Where are you?

Prof. Quizby: Below you! And please don't start with the jokes! I've heard them all, and I can assure you, the weather is just fine...

Kim hops onto the Prof.'s desk. She and Ron look at a short, dwarf size Prof. Quizby. He meets their gaze.

Prof. Quizby: ...down here. You're short!

Kim: Yes. Now about the burglary?

Prof. Quizby: I mean shorter than me! I've never met anyone smaller than me!

Kim: Yes, fascinating, I know. Now..

Prof. Quizby: Heh. She must be a real handful, eh? Snicker!

Ron: You have no idea!

Kim: Ron! What does THAT mean?

Ron: Nothing!

Prof. Quizby: Sorry. I've heard those jokes for years. I never thought I'd be able to use them on someone else! Where was I..? Oh, yes! You have to recover my experimental particle accelerator!

Kim: Drakken stole a particle accelerator? But aren't those usually miles wide?

Prof. Quizby: Yes. But the particle I was searching for is very small. VERY VERY small. VERY VERY VERY small. VERY..

Kim: Yes, we get it.

Ron: So you needed a small particle accelerator to find it! I get it. That makes sense. I think.

Kim: So what particle were you looking for?

Prof. Quizby: I call it the Quizby Quark. It's the fundamental building block of all matter in the universe!

Talk about science bores Ron. He wanders off and starts poking around.

Kim: The Quizby Quark. Ah. I see stature and modesty don't go hand in hand. Ron, what are you doing?

Ron: Hey, Professor, what's with the ant farm? Doesn't seem very physic-like.

Kim: Ron, will you stop that?

Prof. Quizby: It's alright, Miss Possible. And it's not an ant farm. It's a flea circus. It was a 'gag' gift from my colleagues.

Ron examines the flea circus through the top, which has a small opening with a magnifying glass below it.

Ron: Flea _Circus_? It doesn't look like a flea circus!

Inside, the fleas loiter about. One reads a newspaper. One leans against a wall watching the girl fleas walk by. Other fleas throw dice.

Prof. Quizby: Oh, sorry. They used to work in Times Square. CUSTOMERS!

Ron looks again, and the fleas are in full circus mode - Tumbling, jumping onto the end of a teeter-totter to launch another flea somersaulting through the air, balancing a ball on its feet while lying on its back, balancing a pole on its proboscis (nose) with other fleas balanced on top the pole, flying on trapezes, etc.

Ron: Oh! Cool!

Kim: Let me see!

Kim jumps up and looks through the opening.

Rufus rouses himself and peers through the opening to see the fleas.

Kim: Well, thank you professor! We'll try to recover your particle thingie!

The fleas notice Rufus.

Flea 1: Hey, is that a hairless?

Flea 2: A Mexican hairless?

Flea 3: A dog?

Other fleas: A DOG!

The fleas jump up and try to make a ladder to the opening, past the magnifier.

Rufus is alarmed and paralyzed.

Rufus: AHHHHHH!

Kim springs into action. She jumps up, somersaults through the air and shuts the flea circus opening before the fleas reach Rufus. Rufus wipes his brow.

Rufus: Wheww!

Prof. Quizby: Sorry about that. I don't know what got into them.

Ron: Rufus, buddy, are you okay?

Kim: That's alright, Professor. Besides, it gives me an idea about how to handle cheerleading.

Ron: You're going to give Bonnie fleas?

Rufus: Yeah!

Kim: While an interesting idea, no. You'll see!

Scene 10 - Middleton High School. Sign reads "S l ch l r B t ls

Go Mad Dogs!"

More letters are missing on the first line, and some of the letters are upside down.

Cheerleaders, in the auditorium, form a pyramid while the audience watches. The pyramid is missing the person on top. Enter Kim (who is taller than a person's ankles) holding a vertical board. Kim lays the board against the girl at the base of the pyramid, then jumps onto the end of the board. The board flips end over end while Kim is launched into the air. The board flips onto the side of the next girl up the chain of the pyramid. Kim lands on the end of the board, flipping it into the air again while she is again launched into space. This is repeated until the board flops down onto the heads of the two girls at the top of the pyramid and Kim lands on top the board, completing the pyramid. Kim's foot then triggers a switch and a giant magnifying glass shoots up from the board, allowing everyone in the audience to see Kim. The audience goes wild. Kim exults. Ron The Mad Dog whoops it up, spraying foam.

After the cheerleading performance, Kim (on a table or the bleachers) accepts thanks from classmates.

Classmate 1: Way to go, Kim!

Classmate 2: Awesome performance, Kim!

Kim: Thanks. Thank you. Although I never could have done it without Wade!

Wade on Kimmunicator: Thanks, guys. I try my best.

Ron: Wade, how did you get polished glass like that on such short notice? Ahem.

Wade: Oh, I make do with what I have on hand.

Cut to Wade's room.

Voice of Wade's mother: Wade! What happened to my car's moonroof?

Wade: What's the problem? I gave you an upgrade? A real roof!

Cut back to Kim and Ron talking to Wade.

Wade: Well, gotta go!

Kim: Bye Wade!

Enter Mr. Barkin.

Barkin: Miss Possible...

Kim: I know, I know, you want to give me awesome props for my performance, too! It's cool!

Barkin: Yes, well, that was fine, but I'm here to inform you that you're out of school until your condition..improves.

Kim: WHAT!

Barkin: We can't run the risk of someone, ah, stepping on Miss Possible! I'm sorry, but our insurance would never cover it!

Ron: You can't throw Kim out of school just like that!

Barkin: We're legally required to offer reasonable accommodation for differently-enabled students, but the only way to reasonably accommodate Miss Possible is if everyone was shrunk! And while that would make my dream of seeing a mountain of fudge a reality, it's a no go!

Ron: You dream of a mountain made of fudge?

Barkin: Good day and good luck, Miss Possible.

Kim: Oh man, I am SO doomed!


	3. Chapter 3

Size Doesn't Matter

Chapter 3

A Kim Possible Teleplay

by Shawn Q. Evans

Summary - Kim gets really small. So how will she stop Drakken's latest scheme? And what about cheerleading? An original shrink story (cliché-free) where everyone learns - size doesn't matter! First in a series of 'real KP' stories - original stories written in the style of the TV show. It's like getting new episodes of your favorite show! Cool!

Story copyright Shawn Q. Evans, 2005

Kim Possible and related characters copyright Walt Disney Co.

Prof. Quizby copyright Shawn Q. Evans

Scene 11 - Kim and Ron at Kim's home. Kim is ankle high and stands on the end of the couch. Kim's parents, Mr. Dr. Possible and Mrs. Dr. Possible, are there as well as Kim's twin brothers Jim and Tim.

Mr. Dr. Possible: That threw you out of school because you're a bit small? Can they do that?

Mrs. Dr. Possible: I spoke to Mr. Barkin and he said they only had to provide reasonable accommodation and then he mentioned something about a mountain of fudge, whatever that means!

Kim: It's no big - literally. This should all be over soon!

Mr. Dr. Possible: Well, whatever happens, you'll still be my little girl!

Kim: Sighhh. Not you, too?

Kimmunicator beeps

Kim: Wade, tell me this is almost over!

Wade: I think so. I've been analyzing the data, and the process is accelerating.

Ron: That's good, right?

Wade: It's rather fascinating. As your atoms compress, Kim, they get faster. You might experience some relativistic effects soon.

Ron: Huh?

Wade: It's simple Einsteinian physics. Never mind.

Kim: But that's not a problem, right?

Wade: You're almost going to be like a neutron star, the densest object in the universe, but that's not the problem.

Kim: So there IS a PROBLEM?

Ron: Kim's going to be like a star? Cool! It's just like that song - 'We are all made of stars'!

Wade: That's actually truer than you know. Our atoms come from stars!

Kim: Can we get back to my problem, please!

Wade: There's a slight - extremely slight - infinitesimal chance you'll suffer neutron/electron collapse and turn into a black hole. But you'd have to be a much more massive object for that to happen. As far as we know, anyway.

Kim: How much more massive?

Wade: Oh, about the size of two suns.

Jim: Kim's going to be a black hole! Do we still have those plans for a wormhole powered by a black hole?

Tim: In the garage!

Jim: Hoo-shah! Let's go!

Mr. Dr. Possible: Boys - what did I say about experimenting with the space-time continuum?

Jim & Tim: Not in the house!

Mr. Dr. Possible: That's right. Black holes. Heh. Kids these days.

Ron: But don't black holes s...?

Ron imagines Kim turning into a black hole and sucking him and everything else into her mass.

Kim: Don't even say it, Ron!

Wade: I wouldn't worry about that! The radiation would get you long before the gravity did!

Ron: Oh. That's a relief. I guess.

Wade: And like I said, odds are it's not going to happen.

Kim: Could we _please_ change the subject? What about Drakken? Could you track him with that doorknob we gave you?

Wade: No could do, Kim. The signal was too weak.

Kim: Maybe you could mega boost the signal?

Wade: Already tried.

Ron: How about an ultra mega boost?

Wade: Already tried THAT, too, Ron!

Kim: Have you tried a super ultra mega boost?

Wade: Hmmm. That might work. Give me a moment.

Kim: Please and thank you!

Scene 12 - Drakken's lab. He's working on the mini particle accelerator. He wears special microscopic goggles (goggles with thick lenses to see very small objects).

Drakken: Drat! Why do they have to make the screws so teeny-tiny? Then you have to use those teeny-tiny screwdrivers!

Shego: Problem?

Drakken: No, Shego! Soon all our problems will be over! I'll activate our mini particle accelerator and find the one thing that's the same in all the universes! Do you know what that is, Shego?

Shego: Your bad hair choices?

Drakken: Bah! Even your impertinence will have to recognize my genius when I find the Quizby quark, building block of all matter, and use that to map the various and sundry universes accessible via Drakken's Dimension Door!

Shego: If you say so, Doc.

Drakken: This will work much better than a shrink ray when we need to break into some place. Let's face it, shrinking is full of problems! Who needs it?

Scene 13 - Kim and Ron at Kim's house. Wade talks to them.

Wade: Got it all set! Just attach that special doorknob and you're good to go straight to Drakken! Hey, Kim, nice wheels!

Kim's in Rufus' car in the passenger seat. Rufus is driving. Kim's smaller than Rufus. This is shortly after the last scene, so Kim's about the same size (doesn't change size).

Kim: Well, Rufus is the only one who owes me a favor who hasn't given me a ride, so it was about time!

Sound effect: KRRNCHHH

Kim falls through the bottom of the car.

Kim: Oh! I ruined your car! I'm sorry, Rufus!

Rufus: (Various unintelligible naked mole rat noises. He's upset)

Kim: I'll get you a new one, 'kay?

Ron: It's that whole weight thing, isn't it?

Kim: Ronnnn...

Ron: I know, I know. Won't say a word. Let's just go!

Ron and Kim pass through the door.

Wade: Oh, and Kim? Watch out for that particle accelerator. You don't need your particles accelerated any more than they are already!

Scene 14 - Drakken's lab. Drakken is working on the mini particle accelerator with a welder. It sprays sparks. Drakken wears a welder's mask. Drakken stops working and flips up the mask.

Drakken: What is that squeak?

Ron: She said...what did you say, Kim?

Drakken: The buffoon! What is HE doing here? Shego!

Kim: I said..You're going down!

Ron: Oh! You're making a joke about..That's great, Kim!

Shego: Looks like you left the door open, Doc! You know what happens when you do that...just _anything_ crawls in!

Drakken: She's teeny tiny? And expects to beat us? Is this a joke?

Kim: I may be teeny, but I'm still more than enough for you!

Ron; Kim! You already used that line!

Kim: Not on them! Okay, how about..but I still pack a punch!

Drakken: What is she babbling about?

Ron: Oh, she still weighs the same as before. But don't talk about her weight! She's very sensitive about that!

Kim: I'm not sensitive about my weight! It's just that YOU'RE always bringing it up!

Ron: If you're not sensitive about it, just what IS your weight, hmmm?

Drakken: Did you ever get the feeling you stepped right in the middle of something?

Shego: OH yeah! Hey, Kimmie, usually hitting someone below the belt is a rare treat, but with you I get to enjoy it every time!

Kim: Bring it!

Shego and fight (sort of). Kim runs at Shego but Shego shifts her feet to avoid Kim. Shego laughs. Kim, flustered, shoots her hair dryer grapple gun and swings towards Shego. Which is what Shego was waiting for. Shego picks up a bar or long piece of something and holds it like a bat.

Shego: Batter up!

Shego hits Kim.

Sound effect: WHAMMO

Kim flies off and falls down a drainage hole.

Shego: Oww! That was like hitting a brick wall!

Drakken: Shego, please! Now, if you would take care of the fool?

Ron: Eep!

Shego: Grrr

Drakken: Oh, and if Kim Possible comes back - step on her! The nerve, thinking she could stop us at that ridiculous height!

Ron is tied up.

Ron: What-what did you do with Kim?

Drakken: She's where she belongs - with the other vermin! Ha ha ha ha!

Shego: Ha ha ha haaaa!

Ron: Ulp!

Scene 15 - Kim wakes up in a dark hole. She clears her head, then reacts in horror. There are giant bugs in front of her (roaches?).

Kim: Huh-wha-b-b-bugs!

Kim straightens and stands up. She's taller than the bugs.

Kim: Oh, heh, no prob, I'm bigger than they are! I can probably...

Sound effect: bloort

Kim shrinks to half the size of the bugs.

Kim:..flick 'em. Oh no!

The bugs advance on Kim.

Kim: Hey! Get back! I...

Kim slips on the incline of the hole. Her foot slams into the bugs, knocking them down and away from her like a bowling ball knocking down pins.

Kim: Wow! I knocked 'em down like they were nothing! I forgot I weigh the same as before!

A large bug menaces Kim.

Kim: Sorry, Mr. Bug! No meal here!

Kim 'flicks' the bug with her finger.

Kim: I can still 'flick em'! It's like I have super powers! Cool!

Kim crawls up the hole, using the power of her hands to make handholds along the way.

Kim: Enough fun! I have to save Ron and stop Drakken!

Scene 16 - Drakken's lab. Drakken is powering up the mini particle accelerator. Drakken wears the microscope goggles. Ron and Rufus are both tied up.

Ron: Well, Rufus, I never thought it'd end like this! If only I could see Kim again...

Something tugs on Ron's restraints.

Ron: Rufus, cut that out! This is no time for playing around!

Rufus just looks at Ron.

Rufus: Notme.

Ron: But if you're not...

Ron: Kim. It's Kim. She's back.

Kim, on the ground (and about the size of a flea), looks up at Ron.

Kim: Ron, I know you can't hear me, but use your head and shhh!

Kim fires her hair dryer grapple gun at Ron and scales him. She reaches the ropes, takes out her lipstick laser and cuts his bonds.

Ron: I know I said I wanted to see Kim again, but even if I can't it's cool! As long as she's here in some small way!

Drakken looks up and sees Ron is free.

Drakken: Eh? Shego! The buffoon is free! The little imp must be back!

Shego: Where is she?

Drakken puts on his microscopic goggles and focuses on the floor.

Drakken: There's something making indentations in the floor. It must be her!

Drakken follows the marks and

Drakken: Shego! She's heading right for you!

Ron: Wow! Kim may be small, but she sure is fast!

Shego: I've got her! Prepare to face my foot of fury, Kimmie! Ha ha!

Ron: Oh no! I can't watch!

But Ron can't avert his eyes. He looks as Shego slams her foot on the floor.

Shego: Bye bye, Princess!

Shego looks puzzled.

Shego: Huh?

Shego totters on one foot. Her slamming foot is being held in the air slightly above the floor.

Closeup on Kim. She holds the foot on her shoulders in a crouching position. Then Kim straightens up and pushes Shego away with all the power she can muster. Shego flies into a wall and is knocked unconscious.

Ron: Booyah, Kim! Highfive me! Uh, I mean lowfive me. Down low. Real low. (Ron stretches down) Yeahhhh, never mind.

Drakken: It appears I underestimated you, Kim Possible!. But even if you're microscopic and yet incredibly strong, you're still not all that! In fact, you're barely anything at all!

Drakken adjusts his microscope goggles.

Drakken: You'll never sneak up on me as long as I'm wearing these special microscope goggles! Ah! There you are!

Kim is surrounded by huge dark balls.

Kim: What are these? Dust balls? Does Drakken EVER clean? Hey, I can use these!

Kim throws the dust balls at Drakken. Drakken sneezes.

Drakken: Ah-choo! That's it? That's all you have left? It's been a total displeasure, Miss Possible!

Ron rushes towards Drakken.

Ron: You leave her alone!

Drakken: Ah ah ah! Stop right there! You wouldn't want to..STEP on her, would you?

Ron: Eeep! Kim, I hope you have a plan right about now!

At Kim's level. She shrinks again.

Sound effect: blort

Kim: Wow. I'm almost on the cellular level now! The shrinking is speeding up just as Wade said it would! It must almost be over - if I can survive that long!

Kim notices the germs lying around.

Kim: These must be Drakken's cold germs! Just the thing for a distraction!

Drakken looms over Kim. He's holding a microscope slide to put Kim on (he plans to stick her to it).

Drakken: You'll make quite an experiment!

Kim throws the cold germs at Drakken. He starts coughing in fits.

Drakken: Ah choo! ah choo! You're only delaying the inevitable!

Drakken looks around.

Drakken: Where'd you go? Ah, my node! Ah choo!

Ron: Kim! Where are you?

Ron sees the spoon lying on the floor. The end is bouncing up and down.

Ron: What? Oh, I get it! Like the flea circus! Geronimo!

Ron jumps on the end of the spoon, sending Kim flying towards Drakken.

Closeup on Kim flying.

Kim: Time to send you to the big house, Drakken! Oh, forgot Ron can't hear me! And that was my best yet!

Drakken adjusts his goggles to see Kim.

Drakken: Where are..ah, there you..are.

Kim is headed right for Drakken on a collision course. Kim gets closer and bigger.

Drakken: Oh snap.

Cue Kim's music - Do do do do do do doo do do do doo

Kim plows into Drakken, sending him flying.

Ron: Way to go, Kim!

Kim bounces off Drakken and flies up, then angles down toward the mini particle accelerator, which is charged up and running.

Ron: Oh no! Wade said she shouldn't go near the particle accelerator!

Ron palms the digital scale.

Ron: Only one chance. Hope this works!

Ron throws the small scale towards Kim. It flies through the air, and comes between Kim and the particle accelerator. Kim hits the scale at an angle and bounces off it, away from the particle accelerator. Kim falls through a box on the floor. Ron rushes towards her.

Ron: Kim! Oh no! Wade also said she shouldn't be in an enclosed area when she regains her size, and she was getting pretty small!

Ron tears at the box, ripping it open, taking the sides off.

Ron: Kim!

Sound effect: FLLSSHHH

Ron: Oh man, if there's an opposite of a shrinkfart, I don't EVEN want to know!

Kim appears, full-size.

Kim: Ohh. What a trip!

Ron: Kim! You're back to normal!

Ron hugs Kim.

Ron: I thought I lost you!

Kim: Not an option! Hey, guess I blow up real good, huh? Like a photo!

Ron: And your quips are getting better! Excellent!

Kim: I try. Hey, what's that?

Kim points to the digital scale.

Ron: Why, it's a small digital scale! I wonder what that's doing here? And it's got a reading!

Ron holds the scale upside down, so he can't see the what the reading is.

Ron: How curious! I'll just clear it...

Ron (to himself): ..and send the reading to my associate.

Kim: What?

Ron: Nothing. You know, these have many uses!

Kim: I bet. Ron, what's going on? Did you just record my weight?

Ron: I...well...maybe.

Kim: Ronnnnnn.

Ron: I wanted it to be a surprise, but if you're going to be like that…I wanted to get you something special for our mission anniversary, and Eduardo...

Kim: The fashion designer I saved from the falling catwalk?

Flashback to Kim saving the fashion designer from the falling catwalk.

Ron:..Right, he wanted to create an outfit for you, and then Mr. Leotini...

Kim: The industrialist I recovered the secret formula for?

Flashback to Kim fighting industrial spies and recovering the secret formula.

Ron:..Um hmm, he had a special memory fabric that holds it shape and actually grows with the wearer. It's going to be an _awesome_ mission suit, just as soon as…

Wade beeps in.

Wade: Excuse me, Ron? I couldn't help overhearing. There's just one problem with your scenario.

Ron: Huh? What?

Wade: Remember how fast Kim got as she shrunk? Her atoms were approaching the speed of light, and Einsteinian physics says when that happens the mass changes.

Ron: How-how much of a change?

Wade: Oh, about 3 times.

Ron: Ohhhhhh.

Scene 17 - Kim's home. Kim, Ron, Mr & Mrs. Dr. Possible. Kim receives the new outfit. It's huge.

Mr. Dr. Possible: Ronald, I approve!

Ron: Thanks, Mr. Dr. P. So, Kim, how do you like the outfit?

Kim: It's…I think the word is voluminous.

Ron: Heh, well, maybe you'll grow into it?

Kim: Excuse me?

Ron: Uh, I meant…uh, um, err...

Kim: Oh! I'm sorry, Ron! I know you didn't mean anything insulting. You're the best friend a person could have! Thank you very much for the new outfit!

Kim hugs Ron.

Ron: Does that mean you'll wear it?

Kim smiles.

Kim: Not a chance!

Notes

_I wanted to start off with a fun, rollicking, action-packed sci-fi adventure comedy featuring our two favorite villains, Drakken & Shego. I also wanted to intro the tone I plan to use in future stories - slightly more literate (but still for 'kids of all ages', I hope), with light satire, real-world things (I don't understand why so many entertainments these days have absolutely nothing to do with the 'real world'! When I was a kid, I loved that stuff!) and occasionally a (subtle) message (no hitting the kiddies over the head with 'lessons' about friendship or citizenship or some boring drivel that brings the show to a screeching halt) or even a mystery. I also wanted to start 'small' (groan). Like I said, it's just an intro to my work. I save the juicy relationship stuff/character development for future stories. This isn't the first Kim Possible story I came up with, or my best, or even my favorite, but it is the one I'm starting with._

_The joke about the story's title "Size Doesn't Matter" is that everyone thinks it's a joke when it's actually 100 serious. Since the title doesn't appear on air, I think it'd be okay._

_This story, like most Kim Possible episodes, isn't set in any particular time. Although this story, like most of my stories, occurs sometime before So The Drama. If I were writing Kim Possible, I wouldn't feel any need to comment on events in STD unless the story required it. There's still plenty of areas to explore with a non-romantic couple Kim & Ron, so I'd take a while to get to the 'relationship stories'._

_There's a sound basis for this story in other KP episodes. There was a shrink ray in _Rufus vs. Commodore Puddles_ that malfunctioned and enlarged things. And In _Bonding_, when the Bondo Ball goes off, Ron says "At least we're not shrinking, changing colors or turning into armordillos". So Ron could be talking about this story! (Don't worry, I don't have any color-changing or armordillo stories). Also, Kim & Ron took an 'Impossible Voyage' in the Disney Adventure comic, although that's not canon._

_"Just-in-time supply management"? It's been in the newspaper. I suppose it's more of a college thing. I've decided to make Drakken my commentator on life in these times since he thinks he's so smart (and I know I am). Anyway, 'just-in-time' means items are ordered when needed, instead of ordering huge amounts at one time, using what you need and storing the remainder in a warehouse, which causes high storage costs. With 'just-in-time', stock doesn't stay in a warehouse for long. There's a lot of stock moving in and out of the warehouse constantly, which causes inventory control/tracking problems, which is what Drakken is complaining about. _

_I think this is my most 'educational' story, but I'm not TRYING to be educational. That educational TV stuff is boring. Not so my work. I'm just writing what I know. And I know lots of $#&._

_The vittleveyor is real. I suppose Disney would change the name for broadcast, but 'vittleveyor' is such a perfect name, I have to keep it for the story._

_When Drakken was wearing the exoskeleton/cargo-lifter in the 1st scene and menacing Ron, I originally had the following exchange: _

Kim: Get away from him, you b…

Ron: Kim!

Drakken: Excuse me?

Kim: What? I'm just talking about Drakken!

_So I parody both the scene in Aliens and the line from Shaft, but it wasn't appropriate because Kim doesn't swear, so I deleted it._

_Kim is doing the snappy patter bit because, at this point in her save-the-world career, Drakken and Shego aren't much of a challenge (see _Bad Boy_), so Kim has time to work on other aspects of the hero game, like fight banter. Also, it highlights how easy it is for Kim now, so how difficult will it be when she loses her advantage?_

_The lady or the tiger' is an old 'choose the door' bit._

_PseudoScience 101 - The Science of the Shrinkfart. There are two possible causes of this malady. One, the intestinal gas in Kim's body, being a gas ( I believe the scientific term is 'kind of floaty)', is not affected by the compression effect as quickly as the solids & liquids that make up Kim's body. Therefore, the gas needs to escape safely out of her body or she could, I believe the term is 'blow up not real good' as the gas would rip through her body, through the pores, skin, everywhere. Ewwww. Another explanation is that the compressed matter of Kim's body exerts pressure on air outside the body (say, the air between Kim's arm at rest and the side of her body, or the air between her fingers). This air then escapes rather quickly. Why it would make a sound, I don't know, except that it's funny. Of course, this really wouldn't be a fart per se, so let's drop it._

_Small schools', or the 'school within a school' concept, is the latest educational 'theory' to come down the pike here in Chicago. It's all just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic, as far as I'm concerned. They need to do something to justify their salaries, I suppose. Here's an idea - why not try actual teaching?_

_And the full phrase is 'Move over and let the big dog eat'. Middleton's team name is the Mad Dogs._

_Later in the story, when some of the letters are missing, is my attempt at social satire. It's saying schools care more about sports than education._

_If anyone is wondering, Kim's clothes were in her backpack when she was hit with the compression ray, so her clothes shrink the same as she does._

_The Dimension Door needed an anchor, so Drakken duplicated it. Now the 2 doors are connected. They 'synch up'. Much like a radio receiver works by transmitting a signal and then pulling in the matching transmission frequency of the broadcast. Drakken's actually created a crude transmat device, but he's not interested in that. He wants the Big Prize - full teleportation! Teleport anywhere, anytime. Then no one could stop him!_

_There was a telephone teleporter in _HiddenTalent_, and the Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer in _Ron The Man_ and _Dimension Twist_, but the Dimension Door is different. The telephone teleporter was limited in its use (needed to have a phone on the other end for it to work) and the PDVI supposedly opened a gateway to another dimension, but other than that the series was rather vague on what it did. So the Dimension Doorway is a new twist on the teleport idea._

_PseudoScience 102 - The Science of the Dimension Door. This could sound complicated. The simplest way to explain the Door is to imagine our Dimension A (Earth) as a round, hollow ball. Dimension B would be a smaller ball inside the larger ball. If you connect A to B, then move forward in B a step, then connect back to A, the distance traveled on A is magnified, as A is much larger than B. So you've traveled a short distance on B, but when you translate back to A, you find you've covered a much larger distance on A. Never mind. Let's just say other dimensions correspond to different points on our world, and the Door uses these 'shortcuts' to transport people anywhere on Earth._

_More pseudoscience. Quarks ( and leptons) are the building blocks of matter, but there's no such thing as a Quizby quark. I can't give a science lecture in the middle of the show. Best to focus on one thing, one quark. Think of the Quizby Quark as the quark that makes up the other quarks. And a 'small particle accelerator to find a small particle' is there because it makes cartoon sense. Besides, Drakken could never steal a real particle accelerator._

_At one time, some years back, there really was a flea circus in Times Square._

_Fleas are bloodsuckers. They use fur to hold their eggs, so ordinarily wouldn't be interested in a hairless rodent. But they haven't seen a dog in so long they went a little nuts when they thought Rufus was a dog._

_More pseudoscience. Draken explains how he's going to use the Quizby Quark as an anchor point and then note its slightly different positions in the various universes and their (geographical) relation to our dimension. It's also foreshadowing another story I have in mind. (Not the pseudoscience part, though)._

_The 'flicking bugs' bit is a reference to 'Roachie'. Actually, I included the car driving and insect bits to satirize the usual shrink story cliches wherein the shrinkee drives toy cars and fights giant insects with a sewing needle. _

_Now, some terribly cynical, skeptical people will say 'How can Ron see Kim? She's too small to see!' I would answer them that Kim's great mass kicks up a lot of debris (dust, etc.) and that's what Ron is seeing. Then I would tell them to_ GET A LIFE ALREADY IT'S A GN CARTOON WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF SHEESH _That's my story and I'm sticking to it._

_Other nasty people may question how can a micro Kim see Drakken? I would answer that if you've ever seen a mug like that you'd never forget it, no matter how small you get. Or that Kim has special glasses in her backpack. Or SEE ABOVE JESUS H_

_Einsteinian physics? Special Theory of Relativity? How about that? Real science! How'd that get in there? Maybe this episode coud get Kim an E/I rating and they wouldn't have to give her the crappy timeslot that's always preempted on ABC. Although the real science is mixed with pseudoscience. Kim isn't approaching the speed of light, but her atoms are (much like the atoms of a neutron star move very fast). Whether that's possible, I don't know. I don't even know how the compression thing works. It has to be related to gravity, somehow. Maybe the ray opened up a connection to a singularity in another universe and it's pulling her atoms closer together, or...I got nothing. I'm just making it up as I go. By the way, the '3 times' figure comes from an article on Relativity. An object moving at 95 of the speed of light would have a mass of slightly more than 3 times it's original mass (5 pound to 16 pounds). Also, Kim appears to Ron to move faster, but to Kim she's moving at the same speed. Time slows down about 70 for her at 95 of the speed of light. Don't ask me to explain it any better than that. I'm no physicist._

_I minimize gadgets so it's 'just Kim' who beats the villains, even at tiny size. I thought about giving her special glasses (binocular glasses) but I wanted to keep the focus on Kim's abilities._

_Rufus is the most challenging character to write. Even the show's writers feel that way, judging by how they use Rufus. It seems half the time Rufus is a deus ex machina that saves the day. Most other times he's comic relief inserted into the story but with little relation to the story. So I at least try to come up with things for Rufus to do. The tape measure bit, the flea bit, the toy car bit. And Rufus tied up has to be a first (well, it's rare, anyway). I admit the hopping on vertalift controls and tickle feather bits are dues ex machinaish, but hopefully they work._


End file.
